Was up early so I could go and get flowers before going to collect Kevan's Ashes. I haven't been up to doing that yet and not sure how I will cope when I do today. I have decided to scatter some of Kevan's Ashes at the memorial garden across the road from us where we had his funeral. I feel guilty about leaving him there for so long but I wasn't ready and today seemed to be the right time. I never thought I'd be doing this on our anniversary this year. Its all been such a shock.